A Room of One's Own
I was reminded of Virginia Woolf's book this week, working with a coaching client.
The book was published in 1929.
I was talking with my client about the importance of having 'a room of her own'.
Somewhere she could keep all her tools for her business, her creative work.
Somewhere that was her own space.
Somewhere where others wouldn't intrude - coming in to take something, move things, settle themselves down for a while, ask for something, require something.
Where the room would be exactly as she left it, when she left yesterday, or last week.
Where she could have her own 'order' - the degree of tidiness which works for her.
So that.....
She can create.
She can be in flow.
She can do her work.
It makes sense, when you see it laid out like that, doesn't it?
But I find that us women tend to denigrate our needs, we 'put up with' sub optimal working conditions. We 'get by'.
And sorry guys, this is most definitely not a tirade against men.
It's for all of us.
But just seems to apply more to the women I know at the moment. But I do fully advocate everyone having a room of their own in which to create.
Woolf's book is an extended essay, based on lectures she delivered at two women's colleges at the University of Cambridge in 1928, entitled 'Women and Fiction'.
The writing is a flow of consciousness, as Woolf reflected in the days leading up to these lectures, on what it was like to be a woman and a writer, in society in the 1920s.
When she talks of the 'room of one's own' she also mentions a lock and key.
One of Woolf's 'flows of consciousness' in the book is an imagining.....'If William Shakespeare had a sister, who was encouraged to write.....what work might she have produced?'
And she named her Judith!
I love that. Judith Shakespeare!
I couldn't resist asking Canva to create Judith Shakespeare, sitting in her 'room of her own'. Here goes....
....I see she does appear to have at least 'a nook' of her own, there appear to be some kitchen items and a barrel or two nearby!
I think I was in my late 20s when I first I first came across the book. The idea lodged in my head. But I didn't really feel the full import of it.
I've had my own journey regarding a room of my own since then.
Mostly, I did have a spare room in my flat or house over the years, which was (at least some of the time) my 'work space' (also the spare room for guests). With a desk. And shelves for books. And a landline phone back in the day!
Then I was in a space where I most definitely didn't have a room of my own.
Fourteen, fifteen years ago.....I shudder at the memory.....I was sitting cross-legged on the bed, conducting a Skype call to a senior client in the US, pretending I wasn't sitting on my bed. It was the only place in the house I could find, which had a good background (white wall) and where I could sit and be reasonably comfortable (only, it turned out, it wasn't.....after an hour! ....and with still 30 minutes to go!)
I also have memories of pretending a neighbour/friend wasn't looking in the window at me (desperately trying to get my attention), as I sat facing my computer screen on another client Skype call. They eventually took the hint and went away. This was all before virtual video calls became 'a thing' in the workplace or in public life, pre-pandemic. I was so overjoyed when 'important' people started showing us their kitchens, or their untidy home office, in the background, on Zoom calls on national TV during lockdown! And delighted that that step change has been maintained - video calls are the perfectly accepted norm for businesses now.
The good thing arising from my excruciating situations all those years ago, was that I resolved to build my own home office. (Well, not that I would build it myself, but that I would have one built.)
There were many obstacles along the way - including but not limited to - finance (went WAY over budget), time (took WAY longer than planned) and materials, BUT.....we got there. Eventually. I moved in 7 years ago.
And the joy!
It truly is my special space.
I'll show you a couple of photos:
I am remembering some thoughts I shared with a supervisee a while ago: 'Our work is very creative; we create conversations. We don't know what conversation we are going to have with this other person, when they come into the room. We co-create it. We sense into it, we observe, we feel, we think, we wonder, we share, we pause, we offer, we feel again, we care, we hope.'
Being a coach, being a coach supervisor, being a consultant, being a leader ....are hugely creative endeavours. The conversations we create. And we need to resource ourselves, we need to grant ourselves the most 'basic' of conditions actually - a 'Room of Our Own'.
The client I referred to at the start......I caught up with her yesterday.
She is on a mission!!
Her energy - to now find the place for her workshop, which will have a lock and key. AND - to create a space in her home, for her. Quietness, decor, furnishings, for a peaceful space, a little haven in the home. Yeah!!
I really hope you have your 'room' in your life, for your work, for what you want to create, where you can be busy and in flow, and where you can be quiet and rest. I'd love to hear your thoughts and your experiences!
Before you go:
I have some openings coming up in both a Supervision Group and my Professional Practice Group.
The Supervision Group starts in May this year. It will be a group of four experienced executive coaches, who will meet six times bimonthly. For 90 minutes each time. On Teams or Zoom. These Supervision Groups are such special places to share, learn, ponder, and grow, as executive coaches in todays world.
Secondly, the Professional Practice Group has two spaces. This is an ongoing group. The purpose is to encourage professionals of any discipline to come and explore their 'heart's work'. Are you doing your 'heart's work' in todays world? Do you despair of ever being in a situation where you could? Do you know you're not doing your heart's work, but have no idea how you would ever find out what this is?! Then this Group is for you!
First step, if you are curious about either, is to email me, and we can set up an informal exploratory call. Wendy@wendyrobinson.org.
....'Til Next Time....Go Well